Cookie Enforcer Had a Tarantula on Her Record

A US Senate candidate who reportedly confronted a Girl Scout over an allegedly permit-free cookie sale already had a rather more exotic item on her record: she had been sentenced for throwing a live tarantula at a neighbour.

The candidate, whose name and location were not specified in the report, approached the Girl Scout and her mother while they were selling cookies. Her concern was that the pair were doing so without a permit, placing her firmly on the enforcement side of one of America’s least menacing commercial enterprises.

The confrontation reportedly involved both the child and her mother. No further details were given about what was said, whether the cookies were allowed to remain in circulation, or whether anyone produced the paperwork needed to restore order. There was also no reported suggestion that the Girl Scout posed any threat beyond the familiar possibility of leaving customers with fewer dollars and considerably more biscuits.

Ordinarily, a political candidate taking an intense interest in local licensing might be filed under civic diligence. The candidate’s previous sentence, however, gives the episode a degree of texture rarely found in discussions of permits.

She had been sentenced for throwing a live tarantula at a neighbour. The circumstances of that incident, including what prompted it and what became of the spider afterwards, were not provided. Even so, it is an unusually vivid entry in the background of someone objecting to unauthorised cookie sales.

Together, the two episodes create an unconventional portrait of public order: biscuits require the proper approval, while disputes between neighbours have, at least once, involved an airborne arachnid. The tarantula was alive when thrown, a detail that ensures the story remains equally alarming from nearly every participant’s point of view.

It was not reported how the cookie confrontation ended, whether any permit was ultimately obtained, or whether the incident would affect the candidate’s attempt to enter the US Senate. There was likewise no information about any further legal action arising from the encounter with the Girl Scout and her mother.

For now, the candidate remains associated with two very different forms of web: the regulatory sort surrounding small-scale sales, and the sort produced by a creature one would generally prefer not to receive over a neighbour’s boundary. Apparently the thin line between order and chaos is made of webbing.