Bear Breaks In, Chooses the Colonel’s Special

A bear broke into a Kentucky woman’s home at five in the morning, demolished her leftover KFC and shattered a thick glass table, all while she slept through the entire meal. It was, in short, a fairly robust review of the Colonel’s special.

The raid happened early Thursday morning in Harlan County. Kendra North, who describes herself as a heavy sleeper, did not hear the bear breaking into her house. Her sister, who lives next door, was rather more alert to the presence of a large wild animal conducting an unscheduled takeaway collection.

“My sister started calling me, like, five in the morning, and I declined her at least twice, and she just kept calling,” North said.

Eventually, North concluded that her sister’s persistence might indicate something more pressing than an early chat.

“I answered the call, and she was like, ‘Bro, there’s a bear, and it just walked out of your house, and it came down your steps. It came and looked at me, dead in the eyes, on my side of the yard,’” North said.

By then, the intruder had finished inside, descended the steps and moved into the neighbouring yard, where it apparently regarded North’s sister with the steady composure of a customer who had already settled the bill.

North believes the bear must have been a large one. The evidence included her glass table, which had not merely cracked under the strain of events but had been completely destroyed.

“My table is really thick glass, and it completely shattered it,” she said. “She said she actually heard the table shattered from inside her house, and she thought that it was a car wreck outside.”

North said the likely attraction was leftover food she had left on the table. Among the casualties was her Kentucky Fried Chicken, whose disappearance appears to have added insult to considerable household damage.

“I’m a little sad over my KFC,” she said.

Kentucky Fish and Wildlife Bear Program Coordinator John Hast said residents can take simple steps to make their homes less attractive to bears, particularly by removing easy sources of food.

“If you store pet food or if you feed your dogs outside, just think about that,” Hast said. “Make sure you’re not leaving any out on the porch, and that’ll keep the bear from just coming right in and getting an easy meal.”

He also advised anyone hearing reports of a nearby bear to consider where their rubbish is kept. “If you’ve got reports right there close to the house, just think about where your garbage is,” he said.

North is now warning others and has drawn two practical conclusions from the encounter: secure the entrance and do not leave fried chicken unattended.

“Definitely don’t leave your leftover KFC on the kitchen table and make sure the door is shut very well,” she said.